My Heart Still Beats
from A Bit Of Light by Tobin Mueller
Let the sun shine out from your eyes
while the moon is on your skin.
What did you father say?
What did your father say about this?
Island party. Island party. Island party. Island party, yeah.
Barefoot, dancing 'round the world, you're...
Barefoot, dancing all night long.
What did you father say
about parties, drinks, and men like this?
What did your father say about you?
The sun is still in your eyes.
The moon is on your skin.
The sun it still in your eyes but the moon
is on your skin.
You came to lose your count of days,
your count of fears,
your count of nights.
But now you've lost your count of drinks,
your count of boys,
your count of blurring lights.
Let's get lost in the jungle, find a place to just unwind.
Let the rules unravel. You came here to travel
so let's go see what there's to find.
What did your father say?
(instrumental transition... when rape occurs)
You say you remember the stars.
You say you remember the mud that stained your hands.
You say you remember your heart,
the sound of your pulse as it kept you alive.
Kept you alive.*
Forget all the hands that held you down.
Forget all the scars that tie you to the ground.
I know my heart still beats.
(Our father who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Holy Mary, mother of God,
pray for us, sinners, now,
and at the hour of our death...
Maketh me to lie down in green pastures.
Leadeth me beside still waters.
Restoreth my soul.)* [Psalm 23]
©2004, 2007 Tobin Mueller
Song Notes: This is a nightmarish song about the rape of a young woman on the island of St. Croix in 1978. Based on a true story, it begins at a party on the beach, when the island seemed like Eden and all cares had fallen away, and moves into the confused violence of the jungle where the world collapses around her. Suzanne, intimately aqcuainted with the event's details, speaks the part of the young woman, repeating the words of Psalm 23 at the end of the song, words that helped keep her alive.
The music has an ominous vibe throughout, portending tragedy. Thor Oliverson's remarkable bass playing helps keep the tension. The players I used on Rain Bather provide the Jazz textures, including Carl Fischer on trumpet and Sal Giorgianni on flute.
The music is meant to move, change and heal the listener.
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