Being Alive
from Song Of Myself by Tobin Mueller
Someone to hold me too close.
Someone to hurt me too deep.
Someone to sit in my chair,
To ruin my sleep,
To make me aware of being alive.
Being alive.
Someone I have to let in,
Someone whose feelings I spare,
Someone who, like it or not,
Will want me to share
A little, a lot.
Is being alive.
Being alive. Being alive.
(Hmm. Maybe "you" is me?)*
Somebody need me too much.
Somebody know me too well.
Somebody pull me up short,
And put me through hell,
And give me support,
For being alive.
Make me alive.
Make me alive.
Make me confused.
Mock me with praise.
Let me be used.
Vary my days.
But alone,
Is alone,
Not alive.
(And... "me" is you?)*
Somebody crowd me with love.
Somebody force me to care.
Somebody let me come through,
I'll always be there,
As frightened as you,
To help us survive,
Being alive.
Being alive.
Being alive!
(Let's hope.)*
- lyrics by Stephen Sondheim
*ad libs by me, based on script/scene
Song Notes: Stephen Sondheim is the greatest songwriter of situational theatre music, songs that become transcendently universal because of their absolutely detailed, specific honest. Musical soliloquies. "Being Alive" is uninque in the way it defines being alive through the annoyances and difficutlies of loving. Few easy things in life are worth the time spent on them.
"Being Alive" is a song from the musical Company (1970) by George Furth with music and lyrics by Stephen Sondheim. The song appears at the end of Act II and is sung by the main character, a 35 year old bachelor who at the show's end "realizes being a lone wolf isn't all it's cracked up to be. He declares that he wants to take the chance, be afraid, get his heart broken - or whatever happens when you decide to love and be loved." It's a sort of conversation song.
I used an unusual time signature for the first verse, dropping a beat, so that the words come too fast, leaving no room for breath, for thought, for recovery, much like life. After the first break, it is more internal, contemplative, balanced. The third section is joyful, prematurely triumphant. It is a journey, from the almost tin pan alley opening to a real place of hopeful vulnerability.
I sing this song as an apology (and a plea) to my wife. Humor is a key element when handling honesty.
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