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- A child will not spill on a dirty floor. - A young child is a noise with dirt on it. - A youth becomes a man when the marks he wants to leave on the world have nothing to do with tires. - An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys. - Avenge yourself; live long enough to be a problem to your children. - Be nice to your kids, for it is they who will choose your nursing home. - Celibacy is not hereditary. - Familiarity breeds children. - For adult education, nothing beats children. - God invented mothers because he couldn't be everywhere at once. - God invented guilt so mothers could be everywhere at once. - Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain. - Having children will turn you into your parents. - If a child looks like his father, that's heredity; if he looks like a neighbor, that's environment. - If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable. - Ill-bred children always display their pest manners. - Insanity is inherited; you get it from your kids. - It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father. - It rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will come when they'll know as little as their parents. - Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch. - Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - One child is often not enough, but two children can be far too many. - You can learn many things from children... like how much patience you have. - Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid. - The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. - There are three ways to get things done: 1) do it yourself 2) hire someone to do it 3) forbid your kids to do it - There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop wood to keep the television set going. - Those who say they "sleep like a baby" haven't got one. - The best thing to spend on your children is time. |
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