When You Left
from A Bit Of Light by Tobin Mueller
When you left
the clock erased your voice
in time now tilted and tumbled 'round.
When you left
I doted 'long the wall
unconscious of the world around me in fall.
And when you left
my heart fluttered no more like a bird
my hands knew no warmth, my mind knew no words
a sudden fear began to swell up in my chest
swell with emptiness...
When you left I lost all feeling,
the room collapsed atop of me.
...my heart flutters no more like a bird
my hands know no warmth, my mind knows no words
a sudden fear...
When you left I lost all feeling,
this room collapsed atop of me.
©1972, 2007 Tobin Mueller
Song Notes: I can still remember sitting at the piano, a few weeks after my sister's death, playing the falling notes that would become this song. I was 15. I was wearing cut off jeans covered in dried paint. My sweaty legs stuck to the wood of the piano bench. I couldn't move from that spot until the song was complete.
It was the second song I ever wrote. (The first song, named something like "Eve's Eden," is lost from memory.) I've performed it thousands of times, usually as a simple voice/piano song. I wanted to do something different for this album, and so I layered organ, synth and classical guitar. I like the way it haunts me.
One of the best actresses I've ever worked with, Emily Rohm, recorded a version of this song, see When You Awake reprise. I also recorded a jazz version featuring Woody Mankowski on vocals, see When You Awake (Dreams). Both are included in the 2016 release, If I Could Live Long Enough.
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